fredag 16 mars 2012

Love and care, care and love.

I dreamt of a winterland
in late mars
so white, so clean, so beautiful
the sun was shining
and it melted, icewater everywhere
people busy cleaning up
hiding tears

I sat in the garden at home
a beautiful garden
the sun was shining
it was summer
and you was visiting
I have waited so long for your visit
I sat by your feets
feeling your smell
touching you
I took your hands
opened the hands
and laid my face in them
pure happiness
deep relief

I shaked fiercly
could not control myself
told all those forbidden words
heard your voice so mild
your crisping voice
jokes that create explosions
puffies of joy

you are free to come
free to go
free to love
but the rejection hurt so much
the echo is so strong

the bonds are stronger than ever
strong ropes, I feel them so much
I have cleaned the places
cut the bands
tored out the grey mat of threads
that was in whole me
the queen, the living dead
my heart
my chest was teared open
my yelling stumbness, silent voice
looking helpless, dumb, our dead child...
that you loved so much
please don't go
don't go

I could not go
my legs did not obey me
laughs and ridicule
was my share

When does the responsibility cease
for a soul
for someone you love
can you ever, ever say
enough, I quit
because the child
even if dead
is coming back to you
your loved one you abandoned
will come in your way
and you have to go it through again
see the wounds
try to heal them
tie the knots of Life
with love and care
care and love
with the heart as wide and open
as the sky, Nut
holding everything in the arms

I don't love you because you are perfect
a Godlike man
no, far from that
I love the imperfect man and soul
with all the weaknesses and failures
that need a friend, a soul
to relieve the burdens
see in the eyes
and see the real you
behind all curtains of smoke

Love ends
when you become perfect
a God
that need nobody
neither love nor care
care nor love

Pure diamond
with a heart of ice and snow

These are the dreams coming to me, living in me, expanding me....

3 kommentarer:

  1. This is a brilliant poem Ulla, is it yours?

  2. Ye, a painful moment last night.

  3. On april 1st there were snow just like in my dream. The whole yard full of melting snow.